Don't Let Me Go
by Break Up Lover
Summary: Roxas died and Hayner is doing his best to handle it while Seifer drives him home. song that inspired this and is quoted a few times is Passenger Seat by Death Cab for Cutie Seiner


I watched him drive with such a serious expression. It made me smile softly but it felt so empty. His blond hair and blue eyes made me turn away suddenly. It was the wrong yellow and the wrong blue but close enough that it hurt. I looked out the window once more.

The dark road spread out in front of us. As he continued to drive. We just came from the funeral. It was still such a shock to us. He can't really be dead. I was just hanging out with him yesterday and he was just fighting with Seifer.

It almost killed me when I had to remind myself that he's gone.

"How much longer are you going to keep silent?" Seifer asked softly from the seat beside me. I blinked at him and tried to figure out what to reply with. Instead I didn't talk. I just sat there wondering what to do next. The pain within was killing me.

Roxas was beautiful in a manly sort of way. He had that deep voice and was always so kind. He'd pick up on things really quick and wasn't one to raise his voice unless he had to. I thought about his spiky blond hair he had always cared so much about and those soft blue eyes of his. I remember when he told me for the first time that he hated his brother Sora.

Sora was always the better one. He had the most friends and was nice to everyone. Each person who met the boy fell in love with him in some way or another. It was the brunette's gift and one that Roxas wanted so desperately to have. Everyone who tried to befriend Roxas turned away liking Sora better. I didn't. I chose Roxas.

I wonder if I'm the only one who knows just how lonely it makes Sora when his brother isn't around. At the funeral he just curled up beside the grave and ignored everyone. It wasn't like him at all but that didn't matter. His twin was dead. The boy that he had looked up to all this time, and the one I had been planning on bringing together the two but it looks like I won't now.

Roxas liked me. I figured out he was gay before Sora walked out of his own closet. This didn't bother me at all. In fact I soon realized I was gay as well. I decided I was in love with Roxas and we even went out. He was my first in everything. I will never regret that. Glancing at the sky I saw something I hadn't seen in a while. Stars.

When Roxas and I went out we never looked up at the sky. I tried to tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites but I couldn't figure it out. Not really. I turned to Seifer with a curious look on my face as I put my fee t on the dash.

"Do shooting stars and satellites ever collide?" I asked curiously making Seifer smile at me. He didn't answer which was fine with me. At this point I want to do anything possible to forget about Roxas. It hurts too much. I guess that's understandable though. My ex-boyfriend just died. A natural occurrence, something I shouldn't feel bad about because it's normal.

I placed my hand on Seifer's upper arm and then clung to the cloth there wanting someone to be close. The world doesn't matter right now. This blond will be mine until I get home. I just need someone right now. I want to be everything for him until I get over my Roxas. I looked up at him and saw something in his eyes now. It was something I didn't expect.

"Chickenwuss do you want to let go before you rip my shirt off?" Seifer asked softly even though I was barely pulling at it. I continued to stare at those soft loving eyes that refused to look at me. He seemed a bit sad which was cute. I'd never seen him act this way before. I found myself staring once more.

"Are you in love?" I asked making his eyes harden and mouth tighten. I knew then that I was right but it was unrequited. "My best friend died today because I couldn't bring myself to tell him I love him. He wanted me to admit to the world that I love him more than anything but I hesitated so then he died, a week later… Please tell me you won't make the same mistake." I said softly.

Seifer glared at the road and pulled over. He leaned in then and kissed me. It wasn't soft and fragile like Roxas's, and it was nowhere near as kind. The kiss showed more passion then my ex had ever shown me and held more love and desire then I could have ever imagined. I guess this makes them completely different.

He pulled me closer to him and broke away for a moment taking a deep breath as though trying to breathe me in and engulf me whole with his next kiss. I was pressed tightly against my seat with his chest against mine holding me there while my hands slid behind his neck.

We kissed for what seemed like forever then broke off gasping for breath while he drove back onto the road and started me home again. We held the other's hand tightly all the way there unable to let go. I could understand this but not how much I loved him. I guess it was hard to think about when my thoughts kept going to Roxas before his death.

I clutched my seatbelt tightly thinking of the dead boy. If he wasn't dead then I don't know if I ever would have let myself think of Seifer. I still don't know if I like him or not. I could just be lonely because of the death. Then again I could be in love. I closed my eyes and smiled to myself thinking of the dark country road we were on that smelled strongly of evergreens.

"I don't mind loving you." I whispered and then fell into a deep sleep.


End file.
